10 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Refuse to let ruin their day

It’s right to pay attention to how you’re thinking and what you’re professing. Please folks, it pays to pay attention to what you say and what you utter at...

It’s right to pay attention to how you’re thinking and what you’re professing. Please folks, it pays to pay attention to what you say and what you utter at all times. The language and words you use affects how you experience your world, show your depth and extent of experience and how others experience you. Inevitably, things can also get “lost in translation” or understanding. And frankly we all are influenced by our upbringing and to a degree our culture by the way we understand or appreciate words spoken.

If you’re familiar with cognitive distortion or cognitive bias, these psychology terms teach us that there are subtle ways that our mind can convince us of something that isn’t really true or there. It’s amazing how you can stare at the clouds for a long time and suddenly a pattern of an image of resemblance becomes captured by our minds. These thoughts, whilst to some degree can be tapped as part of our ability to imagine things, can also have their negative effect – inaccurate thoughts that usually reinforce negative thinking or emotions, thus holding us back.

We all do this, both consciously and unconsciously, and how we do it provides pointers to our underlying beliefs about ourselves, our peers, partners and colleagues, and the immediate world around us. My close friends have in the past and todate come up with some weird and strange ideas or perceptions about me that I’ve always wondered – what the heck or how the heck did you come up with this?  Their minds run wild and so do our when we fail to think we’ll of our surrounding. The point of thinking should be positive, else it could spell trouble. 

Which of these do you do? Check the areas below and be courageous enough to ask a trusted peer for perspective. Best case to by yourself, evaluate you and find the answers yourself.  Ask yourself sincerely, is it a problem?
Top 10 Cognitive Distortions

1. All or nothing thinking: Seeing things as black-or-white, right-or-wrong, with nothing in between. Essentially, “if I’m not perfect then I’m a failure.” 

Examples:

“I didn’t finish writing that proposal so it was a complete waste of time.”

“There’s no point in playing in that golf tournament to raise money if I’m not 100 percent in shape.”

“The vendor didn’t show, they’re completely unreliable!”
2. Over-generalization: Using words like “always” or “never” in relation to a single event or experience.

“I’ll never get that promotion.”

“She always does that….”
3. Minimizing or magnifying (also, catastrophizing): Seeing things as dramatically more or less important than they actually are–which can often create a “catastrophe” that follows. 

Examples of such inner dialogue:

“Because my boss publicly thanked her, she’ll get that promotion, not me (even though I had a great performance review and just won a company award).”

“I forgot that email! That means my boss won’t trust me again, I won’t get that raise, and my wife will hate me.”
4. Using words like “should,” “need to,” “must,” and “ought to” as motivation: You may have a tendency to use such words to motivate yourself, then you feel guilty when you don’t follow through (or get angry and resentful when someone else doesn’t follow through). 

Examples of your inner dialogue:

“I should have gotten the contract delivered last weekend.”

“They ought to have been more considerate of my feelings on this project, they should know that would upset me.”
5. Labeling: Attaching a negative label to yourself or others following a single event.

“I didn’t stand up to my co-worker, I’m such a wimp!”

“What an idiot, he couldn’t even see that coming!”
6. Jumping to conclusions (mind-reading or fortune telling): Making negative predictions about the future without evidence or factual support. 

Example:

“I won’t be able to pay my bills if I go on this vacation trip (even though there’s plenty of money in savings).”

“No one will understand. I won’t be invited back again to speak (even though they are supportive community partners).”
7. Discounting the positive: Not acknowledging the positive. Saying anyone could have done it or insisting that your positive actions, qualities, or achievements don’t count. 

Like:
“That doesn’t count, anyone could have done it.”

“I’ve only cut back from smoking 40 cigarettes a day to 10. It doesn’t count because I haven’t fully given up yet.”
8. Blame and personalization: Blaming yourself when you weren’t entirely responsible or blaming other people and denying your role in the situation. 

Examples:
“If only I were younger, I would have gotten the job.”

“If only I hadn’t said that, they wouldn’t have….”

“If only he hadn’t yelled at me, I wouldn’t have been angry and shot back.”
9. Emotional reasoning: I feel, therefore I am. Assuming that a feeling is true– without digging deeper to see if this is accurate. 

Like:

“I feel like such an idiot (it must be true).”

“I feel guilty (I must have done something wrong).”

“I feel really bad for yelling at my partner, I must be really selfish and inconsiderate.”
10. Mental filter: Allowing (dwelling on) one negative detail or fact to spoil your enjoyment, happiness, hope, etc. 

Example:

You have a great evening and dinner at a restaurant with friends, but your chicken was undercooked and that spoiled the whole evening.

(Adapted from Marcel Schwantes’ 10 things emotionally intelligent people refuse to think)

A positive mental attitude is the starting point if all riches, whether they be riches if a material nature or intangible riches. ~ Napoleon Hill

With so many myths about positive mental attitude (PMA), it’s important to separate the truth from the fiction. If you think negatively, your mind will automatically seek out confirmation that the world is a terrible place. 

Everyone who accomplishes anything – whether it’s earning more or becoming an award winning superstar – accomplished utbthrbsame wat – by taking action. Positive people have an edge because they believer in the object of their desire and they see it as attainable. This must have been the attitude of our (Huawei) founding father. 

It’s also important to note that while we express the 10 things emotionally intelligent people do, and see the traits of PMA resonating through their statements, we also understand a fact, positive thinking won’t change reality, rather positive thinking helps you identify the problem in a new light. 

Positive thinking, and therefore positive mental attitude helps to energize the mind with an abundance of enthusiasm and a solution seeking spirit. I implore you, the solution is ever “throwing in the gauntlet” by the way. A positive mental attitude – and indeed does – change reality by allowing a person to be emotionally positive and vibrant about life. 

Be positive! Enjoy! 

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